THIRD WHEEL

Yes, I’ve always been a Third wheel. And no, I’m not complaining! At least, not a Third Party!

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Just a Third Wheel. That awkward, sometimes invisible, but always entertaining role we’ve all found ourselves in, sandwiched between lovebirds, acting as the human buffer zone to their public displays of affection. But fear not, for this role comes with unexpected perks and lesson. 

And today, I’ll be sharing things – top 3 things- I have learned all throughout my years of mastering the art of third wheeling!

I started my career as a third wheel at the age of 8. Awkward little me sat at our red velvet sofa every time a suitor visits. Not my suitors, duh. My sister used to have suitors visiting our house every weekend. Out of the many I’ve witnessed, only one survived and now has become my brother-in-law for 15 years. They got married a year after I moved out for college. Haah! My kuya must’ve said “Finally! Wala na si Ganggang!” 

As a third wheel, my role was to sit in between my sister and her suitors and make sure that no one crosses the line. That’s the first life lesson I learned from third wheeling. Boundaries. Boundaries matter. Having clear boundaries in life is not about building walls around ourselves but rather about recognizing and respecting our limits and those of others. It's about understanding that to thrive, we must know where we end and where others begin. When we establish personal boundaries, we teach others how to treat us, creating a space of mutual respect and understanding. These limits empower us to say no when we need to, to prioritize our well-being, and to pursue what truly matters to us without being swayed by the demands or expectations of others. It protects you from any unnecessary surge of emotions that may lead to something else one may not be ready for. Every time, I go home, I see that red velvet corner sofa and remember, here lies the memories of an 8-year old boundary.

2nd lesson. Art of Observation. In third wheeling, we're given a front-row seat to the dynamics of relationships. It's an opportunity to learn about communication, compromise, and the subtle dance of give-and-take that keeps a relationship healthy. By observing, we can reflect on our own behaviors and consider how we might improve our interactions with others, be it in romantic relationships or friendships. See, when I was in college, my closest classmate fell in love with my roommate, and being the common denominator, I’m often invited to their dates, even when we eventually moved here in Cebu, witnessed at their wedding, rushed to the hospital at midnight when their twins were born… and even later on cried over their breakup, and just recently, third wheeling pa rin even as they co-parent to their kids. Through this front row seat observing as a third wheel, I got to see life unfold and nitpick things I can use and apply in our own lives, and even offer help when needed.

Lastly, Independence and Self-Love. I had this friend who was so in love with her then boyfriend. They we’re in an LDR setup. Since we were always together, I third wheel as well during their video calls, and even their phone calls. I’m sorry, I didn’t have any place to go to then. My friend was so in love with the guy. Almost an against-all-odds kind of thing, that when the guy cheated, it broke her. She went AWOL from her job, she went home, she stopped working, she questioned everything including her worth. It was a mess. It took some time for her to rise from the ashes of her troubled past but Thank God, now she’s happily married and has 2 kids. When we talk about it, it reminds us that while relationships are beautiful and enriching, our happiness should not be solely dependent on them. This situation encourages us to find joy and fulfillment within ourselves and our own pursuits, making us more well-rounded and resilient individuals. Sariling sikap ta guys! Kita-kita lang sa’y good morning sa atong self! Good job! Looking good! After all, we can never give what we don’t have.

So, yes! I’m a third wheel! It gets awkward at times, but next time you find yourself tagging along, might as well embrace it. Like how I learned the beauty of boundaries, art of observation, and independence and self-love, You might just learn something valuable about yourself and the world around you.