Counting Love

Months ago, I had the courage to submit to Boiling Waters one of the random poems I wrote. 

But just to document the piece here in my blog, I decided to also post the poem here. This was inspired by an old Bible, which I bought eleven (11) years ago. It was a Bible I bought using my monthly stipend during college. That was the time that I started reading the Bible and got to know Jesus Christ a bit. Three years later, I was a graduating student and I joined a Catholic Youth community, where my relationship with the Lord grew a bit more. That year, I had this silly idea of counting the word "love" in the Bible. Yeah! If there are 365 "Do not be afraid" in the bible, then maybe, love can be counted as well. When I left my hometown and moved to Cebu, I left the Bible at home and even forgot about the "counting" I did back then.

Fast forward, 7 years later, I went home and found the old Bible. It brought so much memories except for the numbers written on the pages. It actually took me days before I realize that the numbers written are the number of "love" I counted.

So, read on...

Binilang ko ang Love

Yes, silly, stupid na o tanga

Di ko ikakahiyang there was a time in my life

na yung love, binilang ko nga.

I was never a fan of Math

But I've always been amazed how numbers 

can really make everything sound so smart

Kaya in a world kung saan maraming nagsasabing

"ang pag-ibig ay nakakabobo"

Baka sakaling may maniwala na kapag ang pag-ibig

nagkaroon nang numero.

Parang gravity, area, pi, find the value of "y"

parang force, time and speed, 

at sige, pati na rin ang  "x" mo, atin nang ipilit

di ba mas nagiging totoo

kung may numerical value?

And even though Meriam or Webster would say

Love is an abstract noun that can never be counted, touched and displayed.

Matigas ang ulo ko, malay natin, baka magkabreakthrough ako

Kapag nalaman ko ang numerical limits nito.

Di na ako lumayo, alam kong wala akong

mababasang Love sa Calculos

Kaya binasa ko ang bibliya, tutal naman 

narito ang salita ng Diyos.

Isa, dalawa, tatlo...

Di pa tapos ang isang pahina

Ako'y nakatatlo na

Apat, lima, anim

Hanggang saan nga ba ako aabutin?

Sampo, Limampo, isang daan

Hanggang kailan ako magbibilang?

Sa madaling salita, hindi ko rin natapos

Hindi ko na matandaan kung napagod ako sa kakabilang

o tinigil ko lang talaga ang aking naging kahibangan.

9 years na ang dumaan nang makita kong muli ang Bibliya

Inaalikabok at manilaw-dilaw ang mga pahina.

I didn't understand bakit may mga numerong nakasulat

It took me a day to remember na minsan pala

ang love ay aking binilang.

Call me crazy but I was smiling like one

That 19 year old me has always been one.

Pero ang sagot, akin ring napagtanto

Yung value na hinahanap ko?

Sus! Tagilid lang pala na otso.

Di ko na kailangang idifferentiate

The limit does not exist kasi nga infinite.

Walang height na sa taas ay susukat

Walang weight kung gaano ito kabigat

At kahit x2, x3, x4 ka pang magpalpitate

mangisay ngisay ka man sa kilig

hindi sapat ang highblood pressure mo 

para sukatin ang kakayahang magmahal ng iyong puso.

Binilang ko ang Love 

And I failed to get a concrete answer

How high and how wide

How deep and how long

How sweet and how strong

Kahit kailan, di masusukat ang volume.

Kasi nga, there's This Guy who set the standards for love.

Binigyan niya nang concrete na value ang ideyang abstract

And it made me ask myself,

Ba't ko nga ba kailangang bilangin ang love

na ni kasalanan ko nga, kahit kailan hindi Niya binilang.

Napakalawak nang Love na pinakita niya

Kapatawarang x2, x3, x4, sangkatirba

Hindi niya binilang kung ilang pako ang pinako sa kamay niya

maipakita lang niyang...

"Anak, mahal kita!"

Walang sinabi ang nalalaman mong formula

Hindi niyan masusukat kung hanggang saan niya

kayang magmahal, magpatawad, repeat until fade ang pattern niya.

Love, binilang ko, apat na letra lang naman

pero sapat na ito para gawin Niya ang buong kalawakan

para ang langit ay mapintahan

nang lumiliwanag na bituin, araw at buwan.

Kaya nasabi ko...

Di bali na lang na di ako magmukhang matalino

Di bali na magulo ang arithmetic ko.

Ba't ko pa ba hahanapin si X at si Y?

Kung alam kong solved na ang buhay ko kay Jesus Christ.

So Yes! there was a time in my life

Binilang ko ang Love

Yes, silly, stupid na o tanga

Pero at least ngayon alam ko na

Hindi lahat kailangan nang numerical value

Madalas, di nabibigyan ng numero ang mga bagay na totoo.

Sapat na na malaman mo. 

Ang True Love, makikita mo lang ka Kristo.